Low Fitness (Fe)Male

The short explanation for why I’m writing this post is that I never pass up a discount. The long explanation isn’t much more interesting, frankly, but you’re already here, so you may as well make yourself comfortable and get the most out of your click. (It’s all about the clicks here, baby. We’re angling for that Under Armour sponsorship and we don’t care who knows it) High School Me was a moderately in-shape fellow played a lot of sports and tag/manhunt, marched with a sousaphone (core strength!), and ate whatever he damn well pleased. College Me was very similar, except for where High School Me supplemented his incessant eating with general adolescent frolicking, College Me paired his incessant eating with additional incessant eating and, eventually, an equivalent amount of drinking. Professional Me didn’t exactly make things better by securing a desk job that did everything but stamp “SEDENTARY” on my work badge, and developing a new football superstition that require...

Hello. I am going to make a confession. I have never successfully run a mile. The first time I was asked to run a mile was 5th grade.  There was no preparation for this, and I can only assume this was by design.  For whatever reason, during the 2001-2002 school year, the "President's Challenge" program required that 5th grade students be asked to run a mile once at the beginning of the year and a second time at the end of the year. The school would post everyone's finishing times on a bulletin board in order to honor (read: shame) them. Now, as a young pudgy child with anxiety, this plan did not do a lot to set me up for success. Actual photo of myself in 5th grade (right) The actual directions we were given were "run." So, I started out running as fast as I could.  Of course, by this I mean as fast as I could without looking silly or allowing any part of my body to jiggle or drawing attention to myself in any way whatsoever. Pretty soon, I started t...